I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
