my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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