I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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