i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
