ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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