5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
