never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize