I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.