I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.