is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?