Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America