yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?