shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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