Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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