oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
