the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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