When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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