Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
