we have pet lesbian snakes
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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