Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize