So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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