My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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