My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
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Oh Jesus.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
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