I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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