everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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