1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
