when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
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When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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