1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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