Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
