brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
