im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
