yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
