Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
