whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
