We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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