I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
