we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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