omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
