bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
