Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Randomize
