david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
