How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize