i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Bang-toberfest begins!!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
