he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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