Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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