My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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