Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
