you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
