How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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