I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
