If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I can text with my tongue
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If I die, sorry about rent.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
