just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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