Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
