My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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