We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
