Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  ***** fucked a guy with one hand last night

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  (248): ***** fucked a guy with one hand last night http://tfl.nu/a7su
  Replies (7) Good night (899) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.

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  (517): I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house. http://tfl.nu/y6v5
  Replies (9) Good night (818) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...

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  (205): I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand... http://tfl.nu/3a2z
  Replies (8) Good night (1620) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"

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  (443): they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field" http://tfl.nu/je3y
  Replies (11) Good night (1936) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.

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  (765): he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time. http://tfl.nu/3wkx
  Replies (22) Good night (447) Bad night (2940)
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  (415): View more from California

  I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.

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  (415): I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea. http://tfl.nu/t4nr
  Replies (32) Good night (889) Bad night (4021) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.

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  (904): I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once. http://tfl.nu/u86e
  Replies (71) Good night (12013) Bad night (907) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME

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  (914): Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME http://tfl.nu/u7n7
  Replies (16) Good night (3929) Bad night (1149) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism

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  (410): I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism http://tfl.nu/m451
  Replies (3) Good night (2840) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok

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  (785): Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok http://tfl.nu/c6qb
  Replies (7) Good night (3021) Bad night (682)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday

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  (631): I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday http://tfl.nu/jy9z
  Replies (4) Good night (2301) Bad night (464) Order T-Shirt
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  (213): View more from California

  Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.

  (1-213): View more from California

  best text I've received ever.

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  (213): Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon. (1-213): best text I've received ever. http://tfl.nu/3obm
  Replies (16) Good night (4721) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!

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  (612): Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend? (701): In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing! http://tfl.nu/fqw2
  Replies (11) Good night (1875) Bad night (309)
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  (408): View more from California

  I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"

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  (408): I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all" http://tfl.nu/dl7h
  Replies (1) Good night (975) Bad night (205)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?

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  (219): I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM? http://tfl.nu/704g
  Replies (4) Good night (296) Bad night (655)

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