Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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