Ambien. No doubt about it.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize