can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There r osticjed everywhere
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
