I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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