Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
