Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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