next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
