i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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